I could not speak about it; I was too connected to it, too touched by it to sit down and dissect it with the seriousness it deserved. Under the watchful eyes of my family, I decided that I was already too tired to teach them about the severity and complexities of eating disorders.
I caught my reflection in the mirror. I quickly looked away, but the image was seared into my brain. Just like a horrible car crash, I couldn't stop myself from taking a second peek. Then a third and a fourth and a fifth. I don't know how many peeks I stole, but I know that they were never more than 5 seconds. I also know that I felt worse with each peek.
Anxious? Stressed? Lonely? Learn to knit. Recent research has found that knitting has psychological and social benefits. People who knit are calmer, happier, and feel better about themselves.
If you're recovering from an eating disorder, stepping out of your comfort zone can be particularly hard. Life with an eating disorder is all about rules and regulations.
Whether you're just starting down the recovery path or you're long asymptomatic, healing is a long and difficult process that can leave you completely exhausted. Especially when you've been in recovery for some time and you've heard the same things over and over again, it's easy to feel like there is nothing new to learn. What I've learned over the years is that there is always something new to learn and healing tends to come into fits and bursts.